The first time my wife and I were together, she asked me for something specific. Not something I suggested, not something we stumbled into together. She asked. It's one of the only times in our marriage she's ever requested a particular act outright, and it happened
We've used a blindfold a handful of times now, but one night stands out clearly above the rest, the night that showed us exactly what it could do. The Drive We'd had dinner with friends while back in our old hometown, staying in a hotel for
I've written before about the years my wife and I spent building comfort with watching and being watched. That comfort eventually opened a door to something else, a practice that has become one of the most sensual parts of our intimacy. This is that story. The Flight to
The word voyeurism carries a lot of baggage. Most people hear it and think of something sneaky, a peeping tom, someone watching without permission, taking something that was never offered. That version is real, and it's not what I'm writing about. What my wife and I
I was a thin kid. Looking back at old photos now, I can say it plainly: I was a good looking teenager, and for most of my teens and early twenties, I was thin. But somewhere in those years, I developed an insecurity about my body that never left me.
This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through one, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. We only write about things we've actually used in our own marriage. For a long time, nobody told us this was a thing. We just lived
For a large part of our twenty-seven years together, my wife and I lived inside a cycle. It repeated so many times that I could feel it starting before I understood what it was. It usually began small. Laying in bed, I would caress her hips a certain way,
I have always lived a rich life inside my own head. As a child I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. I was a good student but also a daydreamer, the kind of kid who could entertain himself for hours without external stimulation. I developed an ability
It was my birthday. We were in a hotel with ring lights set up and a night ahead of us with no agenda except each other. We had talked about making a video together. My wife was not ready for that, and I was not going to push it. So
Part 1 ended without a resolution. That was intentional. This part has one, but not the kind that wraps cleanly. We did not fix the desire gap. We found a way to live inside it that costs us less than it used to. That is the honest version of what
There is a version of this conversation that happens in almost every long marriage. Usually late at night. Usually after someone has been turned down again. It almost never goes well. One partner wants more. The other doesn’t, or not as often, or not right now. And the gap
I bought my first cock ring the same night I bought my wife her first vibrator. That night is documented in the Anniversary Gift post, the visit to the sex store that changed something between us early on. I came back to the hotel with three things that evening: the
Let me start with something I used to joke about. In my thirties and forties, when I woke up with a morning erection, I would nudge my wife and tell her we should not let it go to waste. That there would come a day when I might not have
Let me be direct about something. Dirty talk turns me on. There is something raw and sensual about letting your inner desires move from your head into actual words, spoken out loud, to the person you are in bed with. It adds fuel. It opens things up. It is, in
We have a simple practice. The morning after we try something new, we check in. It is not complicated. There is no structure and no script, just a conversation, usually as we are lying in bed before we start our morning, about what happened the night before. What felt good.
A few years ago, three things happened more or less at the same time. Our kids were growing up and becoming their own people. We moved out of the state we had both grown up in, left behind the life we had built there, and started something new. And I
We live somewhere that puts us near hotels by definition, and we travel back to our home state several times a year. That means we are in hotel rooms more often than most couples, and we have learned to use them. Hotel rooms always mean sex. We both know it
We didn’t invent this. We heard about it on Sex with Emily as we began experimenting with new sexual practices, and it made enough sense that we built it into the Closer Together Workbook. The traffic light system is about as simple as it sounds. Green means keep going.
Cannabis is legal in some states and not others. What I’m describing here is something my wife and I do in a state where recreational use is legal. I’m not recommending this for you. I’m telling you what happened for us. Know your local laws and talk
I am not affiliated with Foria Wellness and have received no compensation for this review. I bought this product with my own money and I’m writing about it because it made a real difference in our marriage. We didn’t go looking for the Intimacy Melts. They found us.
Spontaneity is overrated. I know that's not what anyone wants to hear, but after twenty-seven years of marriage I have come to believe it with some conviction. The couples I know who are still genuinely connected after decades together are not waiting for the mood to strike.
Most couples approach intimacy the way they approach everything else in a busy life. They wait for a gap in the schedule, hope the mood lines up, and try to make something happen in whatever environment they happen to be in at the time. The TV is still on. The
Most people hear "dominance and submission" and picture the same thing. Leather. Restraints. A dungeon aesthetic lifted from Fifty Shades of Grey. Something extreme, something niche, something that has nothing to do with their marriage. That's the first mistake. What It Actually Is When my wife
I don't usually write about television. But I watched Prime Video's Off Campus last week and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I enjoy young adult entertainment more than most people my age will admit. It keeps me relevant. It gives