Side by side, feet up near each other's heads, close enough that there's nothing left to guess at. That's where some of our most intimate moments happen now, her legs open, nothing between my eyes and her, a toy or just her own hand
I first heard the term in the early 1990s, working at an auto center to pay my way through college. It was a paycheck to me, a means to an end, but for most of the guys I worked alongside it was the career, and they'd come up
We were driving to a new city, about four hours from where we lived at the time, scouting out homes for a possible relocation. We weren't actually moving yet, just looking, but a four hour drive leaves plenty of room for conversation, and like most long drives around
In my last post, I talked about G-spot vibrators and our experience with the Vush Myth. The Vush Empress 2 arrived in the same 2022 Christmas bundle, and it was a game changer for us in a very different way. We tried both toys the same week. The Myth
The G-spot vibrator was the second toy that ever entered our toolkit, arriving about six months after that first bullet. I was looking for a new way to pleasure my wife, something beyond what we already had. Like almost everything in this series, it took real time before it
In 1998, a television character named Charlotte walked into a New York sex shop, bought a pink, rabbit-eared vibrator on a whim, and promptly disappeared from her own social life for an episode of Sex and the City called "The Turtle and the Hare." She liked it
Every couple's toy drawer starts somewhere. For most people, that starting point is a bullet or a wand. They're the most familiar shapes in the category, the ones you'll see first in any store or search, and for good reason. But familiar doesn'
I've already told the story of the night this began, the anniversary gift that didn't go the way I planned. A vibrator, an oceanfront cottage, a fantastic first night, and then a year of silence while my wife reconciled what her body had felt against what
In Part 1, I wrote about how we started. The hesitation, the years it took, the door that closed on penetration when my ED progressed past the point of no return. This part is about where we ended up instead, and it is not a consolation prize. Anal sex is
There's almost always hesitation the first time a couple introduces something new into their intimacy, and pornography is no exception. I think that hesitation is common, maybe even universal. This is the story of how we moved through ours. A national survey on couples and pornography found that
There seems to be growing curiosity about anal sex these days, but there are some widespread misconceptions about how to actually begin. Most people whose only education on the topic comes from pornography mistakenly think that inserting a penis into an anus is the entry point, and that it will
The first time my wife and I were together, she asked me for something specific. Not something I suggested, not something we stumbled into together. She asked. It's one of the only times in our marriage she's ever requested a particular act outright, and it happened
We've used a blindfold a handful of times now, but one night stands out clearly above the rest, the night that showed us exactly what it could do. The Drive We'd had dinner with friends while back in our old hometown, staying in a hotel for
I've written before about the years my wife and I spent building comfort with watching and being watched. That comfort eventually opened a door to something else, a practice that has become one of the most sensual parts of our intimacy. This is that story. The Flight to
The word voyeurism carries a lot of baggage. Most people hear it and think of something sneaky, a peeping tom, someone watching without permission, taking something that was never offered. That version is real, and it's not what I'm writing about. What my wife and I
I was a thin kid. Looking back at old photos now, I can say it plainly: I was a good looking teenager, and for most of my teens and early twenties, I was thin. But somewhere in those years, I developed an insecurity about my body that never left me.
This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through one, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. We only write about things we've actually used in our own marriage. For a long time, nobody told us this was a thing. We just lived
For a large part of our twenty-seven years together, my wife and I lived inside a cycle. It repeated so many times that I could feel it starting before I understood what it was. It usually began small. Laying in bed, I would caress her hips a certain way,
I have always lived a rich life inside my own head. As a child I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. I was a good student but also a daydreamer, the kind of kid who could entertain himself for hours without external stimulation. I developed an ability
It was my birthday. We were in a hotel with ring lights set up and a night ahead of us with no agenda except each other. We had talked about making a video together. My wife was not ready for that, and I was not going to push it. So
Part 1 ended without a resolution. That was intentional. This part has one, but not the kind that wraps cleanly. We did not fix the desire gap. We found a way to live inside it that costs us less than it used to. That is the honest version of what
There is a version of this conversation that happens in almost every long marriage. Usually late at night. Usually after someone has been turned down again. It almost never goes well. One partner wants more. The other doesn’t, or not as often, or not right now. And the gap
I bought my first cock ring the same night I bought my wife her first vibrator. That night is documented in the Anniversary Gift post, the visit to the sex store that changed something between us early on. I came back to the hotel with three things that evening: the
Let me start with something I used to joke about. In my thirties and forties, when I woke up with a morning erection, I would nudge my wife and tell her we should not let it go to waste. That there would come a day when I might not have