The word voyeurism carries a lot of baggage. Most people hear it and think of something sneaky, a peeping tom, someone watching without permission, taking something that was never offered. That version is real, and it's not what I'm writing about. What my wife and I
I was a thin kid. Looking back at old photos now, I can say it plainly: I was a good looking teenager, and for most of my teens and early twenties, I was thin. But somewhere in those years, I developed an insecurity about my body that never left me.
This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through one, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. We only write about things we've actually used in our own marriage. For a long time, nobody told us this was a thing. We just lived
For a large part of our twenty-seven years together, my wife and I lived inside a cycle. It repeated so many times that I could feel it starting before I understood what it was. It usually began small. Laying in bed, I would caress her hips a certain way,
I have always lived a rich life inside my own head. As a child I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. I was a good student but also a daydreamer, the kind of kid who could entertain himself for hours without external stimulation. I developed an ability
It was my birthday. We were in a hotel with ring lights set up and a night ahead of us with no agenda except each other. We had talked about making a video together. My wife was not ready for that, and I was not going to push it. So
Part 1 ended without a resolution. That was intentional. This part has one, but not the kind that wraps cleanly. We did not fix the desire gap. We found a way to live inside it that costs us less than it used to. That is the honest version of what
There is a version of this conversation that happens in almost every long marriage. Usually late at night. Usually after someone has been turned down again. It almost never goes well. One partner wants more. The other doesn’t, or not as often, or not right now. And the gap
I bought my first cock ring the same night I bought my wife her first vibrator. That night is documented in the Anniversary Gift post, the visit to the sex store that changed something between us early on. I came back to the hotel with three things that evening: the
Let me start with something I used to joke about. In my thirties and forties, when I woke up with a morning erection, I would nudge my wife and tell her we should not let it go to waste. That there would come a day when I might not have
Let me be direct about something. Dirty talk turns me on. There is something raw and sensual about letting your inner desires move from your head into actual words, spoken out loud, to the person you are in bed with. It adds fuel. It opens things up. It is, in
We have a simple practice. The morning after we try something new, we check in. It is not complicated. There is no structure and no script, just a conversation, usually as we are lying in bed before we start our morning, about what happened the night before. What felt good.