Being naked is easy now. It wasn't always. When I was young I had very bad body image. Some of it came from a public humiliation in a classroom that I wrote about in detail in The People We Share Our Bed With. The short version is that
If you read our first cannabis post, you know how we got here. The bong rip in college, the guilt, the thirty years of avoidance, the podcast that changed our thinking, the dispensary that didn't look anything like I expected. That's the origin story. This post
Familiarity creates boredom. Boredom creates detachment. And detachment, left unaddressed, is the thing that ends marriages. Not always dramatically. Sometimes just quietly, over years, until two people who once couldn't keep their hands off each other are sleeping in the same bed like polite strangers. I've
Nobody tells you that intimacy requires logistics. Early in our marriage it was simple. "I want to be with you" was enough. Mostly initiated by me, usually spontaneous, no setup required. We were young and in love and the wanting was always close to the surface. That version
I am not affiliated with Foria Wellness and have received no compensation for this review. I bought this product with my own money and I'm writing about it because it made a real difference in our marriage. I have a habit of finding something that interests me, buying
This post isn't really about couples who have stopped touching each other. Most long married couples haven't stopped. They touch every day, in the small ways that accumulate over a life together. A hand on the shoulder. A kiss goodbye. The comfortable weight of someone familiar
I need to say something upfront before we go any further. Cannabis is legal in some states and not others. What I'm describing here is something my wife and I do in a state where recreational use is legal, and we did it carefully, intentionally, and after doing
Most couples who have been together for twenty years or more have thought about it at least once. A scenario, a fantasy, a "what if we tried..." that floated through someone's mind and never made it out of their mouth. It stayed there, quietly, because saying
We are five posts into a series on shame and desire in long marriages. We have covered What Nobody Teaches Men About Desire and where that silence comes from. The Conversation Most Married Couples Are Avoiding and what it costs. How Shame Survives in a Good Marriage and what it
I want to be honest about where we are before I tell you how we got here. My wife and I are not on the other side of this. There is no other side. What we have is a marriage that is more honest than it has ever been, a
My wife and I have a good marriage. I want to say that clearly before anything else in this post, because what follows is going to sound like a description of a broken one. It isn’t. We have built something real over twenty-seven years. We love each other.
There is a conversation happening in most long marriages. It just isn’t the one that needs to happen. My wife and I got very good at talking around the things that mattered. We had twenty-seven years of practice. We could discuss anything, the kids, the finances, the neighbors,